Sometimes I feel like a I want to be a kept woman. Until then, i have to dominate Claire
Sometimes I’m tired… tired of keeping it all going. I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but it would be nice meet someone who I would love to be with (and of course, he would be fabulously wealthy) and who would marry me and insist I have a life of leisure. Of course, it could be a lot cleaner if I just won the lottery.
But there is also a part of me that would relish a traditional husband/wife dynamic and relationship. It would be fun to cook eggs for my husband in the morning or figure out how to remodel our new kitchen. But until then, I tend to whip that thought out of my head by dominating others.
When I’m dominating someone, I feel like I can conquer the world. I feel like nobody can control me. It’s a rush. I guess some people use booze or pot to forget their troubles. Dominating is kind of like that. It really gets me going to see someone begging me, (AND I MEAN BEGGING… BECAUSE I DON’T ALLOW SAFE WORDS) to stop or to release them. And sometimes, it’s no bullshit. I turn into an actual sadist. I like to see them squirm and writhe and blubber like the piece of shit they are. Of course, they are still people in real life, and when the session is done, I instantly and genuinely switch off my contempt and sadism, often times even feeling inferior to them due to their accomplishments or social stature.
I think people come to me thinking they are going to tell me what to do from the bottom position. But the reason they come back is that once they commit to me, all those thoughts of controlling the session are gone and they have no idea what to expect or what is coming in the next instant. People get off on the fear. But they probably don’t realize that I am the one using THEM as a drug… and I’m the one getting the real rush. Sensory deprivation is one of my favorite tools. I like to disorient the sub so that they don’t know if they should answer “yes” or “no” to my questions. I like to make them physically disoriented and completely surprised by the next action I take.
For example, this old “friend” of mine came to me with his wife, who was a bit new to the BDSM world. His request was that I help train his wife to dominate him. I’m sure he thought that he would be tied up and she would learn the finer techniques of flogging. Fuck that. The best way to teach someone anything is to make them do it themselves. In other words, if his wife (Claire) had a true understanding of how scary it can be to be dominated, she might learn that dominating is not an activity or an action but a feeling of power. And for the slave, it becomes so real that the Stockholm syndrome begins to set in, even in a single session. In fact, a session done right will not only feel real, but becomes real. The participants are not merely characters, but really assume the role of submissive and dominant. It’s real. Someone really has the control and someone really fears and worships that person.
Before the session started, Claire told me that she really wanted to learn and would do anything I told her to, so long as it would help her dominate her husband in a way that would make him respect her as dom.
Sounded easy enough. Step one… dispense with the guy. I ordered her to restrain the guy (Marco) in a way that would create genuine fear in him. First she looked at me with a blank face. Then, she read me as serious and got to forcing him into a small cage that would cause him severe discomfort if he were to be left there for more than 30 mins. I quickly scolded her… “I said restrain him in a way that would create genuine fear. Do you think he’s afraid?” She got my point. “Step over here,” I told her. I directed her over to a post and handcuffed her arms behind it. “This is how you make fear,” I went on.
I pulled Marco out of the cage and told him to sit down on the floor. I slapped shackles on his ankles and handcuffed his wrists to the shackles, kind of like a reverse hog-tie. Then I dumped the waste basket upside down to empty it out. Never mind a couple bottles breaking. Then I yanked the white garbage bag out of the can and quickly pulled it down over Marco’s head, sealing it very tightly all around with several passes of duct tape.
Claire was horrified as she saw him start to struggle to breathe. “He can’t breathe!” she whined. No shit. He struggled harder and harder and she screamed at me to help him. “You see, this fear is no bullshit, right Claire?” I calmly teased. “Okay, okay, I get your point. Just stop, please!!!” Finally, I thought they got my point so with my fingernail, I punctured the trash bag right at his mouth. He started gasping for air at the same time as blubbering something about “thank you, Mistress.” I told him to shut up or I would put a gag in his mouth. Little sissy.
Then I approached Claire, whose hands were still bound behind the post. I gave her a cold hard stare before whispering “Don’t you ever tell me what to do. Ever! Do you understand me?” By the fear in her eyes, I take it she got me. But I thought I should reinforce it a bit.
I put some earplugs in her ears, then put a piece of duct tape over them. Then I laced her into a rigid leather posture collar I have and finally, a really intense leather sensory deprivation hood that straps around the eyes and chin… and the straps lock with padlocks. It’s an intense hood and only has a mouth hole the diameter of a pea. It laces up the back and as I was cinching it up, I felt her legs begin to tremble. First it was slow and then she was all out shaking from fear. I used to think that was only in cartoons.
I told her that she would learn to trust me and worship me and caressed and hugged her a bit for comfort. Her breathing was fast. I uncuffed her hands and had her put her hands in sturdy leather fist mitts. Those are the kind where there isn’t enough room to extend your fingers in the mitten… so your hands must remain in the fist position. I cinched them really tightly around her wrists with the leather restraints on the mitts. No chance she could ever get out of those. Then I padlocked the mitts to the front of her posture collar. I also attached a thick leather leash to the collar and started to drag her for a walk.
Having never even been blindfolded, she was really nervous about walking, and only took baby steps for fear of falling or bumping into things. But that’s okay. I wasn’t in too big of a hurry. I took her all around the dungeon to disorient her. Then I took her out of the dungeon and past the medical room. She must have been really concerned. Obviously with the earplugs, tape, and hood, she had no idea where we were. I dragged her outside the emergency exit door and into the alley where it was quite cold. Clearly she must have felt the temperature change and wonder what the hell was going on. I was a little nervous about someone seeing us in the alley so we headed back inside. I took her on a SLOW and meandering path back to the dungeon. Of course, I had to spin her around a couple times for extra good measure.
Now that she was sufficiently lost, I took my new BCBG Dionne boots out of the closet and made her step into them. She was really confused and it took a few minutes until she was properly zipped up in the boots (I love it when women wear a size 7, that’s my size). Once she was in them, she looked hot. I loved how she was so unsure about standing in them and being so disoriented. I took out a riding crop and swatted her tummy a few times. Then I rubbed the crop slowly on her pussy for a while. After a minute, I gently felt her… and she was dripping wet. Wow! Now that’s power. It was even getting me a little moist. I stepped away and came back with a steel spreader bar which I locked around her… I mean… MY boots. Her legs were spread really wide. Her hands were locked in the mitts to her posture collar and her hood was extremely tight. Oh yeah, and hubby was several feet away cuffed and shackled with a plastic bag taped over his head.
I whipped her several times with the riding crop, giving more and more time between each blow. Finally, I was waiting up to 5 minutes between blows and you could see her body relaxing as if she thought it was over. But after 5 or 6 minutes, another hit would come… until they didn’t. I tip-toed out of the dungeon and decided to catch a movie. I know Claire had no idea where she was, where I was, or what she should do next.
I saw a really bad movie: “Confessions of a Shop-a-Holic.” It was a fluff movie, so it was kind of bad in a fun way. But midway through the movie, I had to masturbate. Ever wonder why girls bring coats to theaters?
When I went back to the dungeon, Marco was in near agony and kept groaning. Claire wasn’t doing so well either. She had managed to lay down and was hyperventilating a bit. I unshackled her legs and took my boots off of her. When she felt my presence, she was euphoric and shivering (again). I put the handcuff key in the hand of Marco. Then I grabbed my boots and quietly crept away. Of course, at home I had to stimulate myself again. I couldn’t’ stop thinking about Claire’s legs locked in the steel spreader bar in my boots. I’m telling you, it’s sexy.
I know one thing, I think Claire will have no problem putting Marco in a state of fear.
4 Responses to “Sometimes I feel like a I want to be a kept woman. Until then, i have to dominate Claire”
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March 2nd, 2009 at 7:11 am
Hey I noticed that no one had commented in awhile so just saying hey and we’re still reading
I can’t get enough of this blog! Also do you have any tips on getting my boyfriend to be a bit more of a dom? (things won’t get kinky but i’d like him to be a bit more bossy)
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Hey RRG,
Wow!! My very first comment. I was getting tired of writing into a cyber black hole. Thanks for writing (and reading!).
As for helping your boyfriend get a little more bossy, I’m not really an advice expert because sexuality is so personal. But I do have a couple thoughts:
1) It’s always good to talk openly about what gets both of you going. It could be helpful to narrate each of your darkest fantasies to each other, understanding that it is pure fantasy and in reality you may not like to go that far. But it’s a great ice breaker to get into the heart of the matter.
2) Watch the movie “Secretary” with him. I love this movie!! It’s also a great ice breaker.
3) Do to him what you like done to you. In other words, if you like to be spanked, then spank him in the same way. After a few weeks, he might get the hint or you could just tell him that you have been doing everything to him that you like. Maybe he’ll catch on.
4) Finally, make sure he is wired that way. I once dated a guy for 3 months and finally came out about me being kinky. First he scoffed at me and I felt like an idiot. Then he practically ran away from the relationship within days. Some people just aren’t that evolved. But I just hated being judged by that asshole. For me, my kink is part of my soul and my core. It IS my sexual orientation in the same way gayness is a gay person’s sexuality. You don’t choose it. You can’t change flavors! It’s just you. So it’s always good to make sure your boyfriend actually matches your sexual orientation.
Hope this helps. Embrace your kink!
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Thanks for replying! As I said before I love your blog when I got the email you had replied I was at school lol! I got very excited. I’ll defiantly try “Secretary” we communicate through movies quite often lol. Also don’t worry you aren’t writing into a black hole I’m an avid reader (I check the site everyday I would use a subscription but I already get so much random email its just easier to go on when I think about it) and I constantly send links of your posts to my friends who take interest in those sort of things! Keep writing I’ll keep reading!
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:37 pm
Thanks for the support. Sorry I don’t write more often, but sometimes I’m not that inspired. Good luck in school.
-k